Tags
Domestic violence, fairy tales, family, kids, love, relationships
I was thinking after reading a blog where a girl, is talking about her mum who dies of Aids when she was 17, who was victim of domestic violence, I was thinking about the famous “Once upon a time” why not, why not starting like this it seems very fairy tale, very dreaming, romantic… Once upon a time. The reality is when is that a woman stopped imagine, dreaming, thinking, it would be a fairy tale although for me this doesn’t mean everything perfect and beautiful and reassuring no. Nowadays I think ” the happily ever after” is just be sure to woke up next to someone’s feeling the same for you, someone who knows what you want, what you dream, the famous shoulder you can rely whenever you need that Shoulder or even better that anticipate your need and will be there, and will tell you to do not worry that everything will be fine.
Instead half of the time we think we found it and we are wrong. I m not saying that has to be a violent person or that makes you live in fear but probably what you saw once have vanished, when you were dreaming ok he his the one who even make me consider the idea of getting married, then pretty soon, something have been said or done and you are put back on your feet and your feelings are a bit bruised, and thinking thank God I m not married.
What is that push a man to become a monster sometimes, is the lack of love they had when they were little, it all begins from there? Is the wrong path they have chosen while growing. I couldn’t stop myself reading this blog, and cry and feel sorry for this woman who thought she never deserved to be loved, who become HIV positive, because of her previous partner, the father of her daughter, who saw her mum been verbally abused and shamed in front of her, because someone was make her feeling worthless. He cannot be the love that doesn’t make you react against this men is the fear. From outside we are capable of saying “I will never let him do this… Say that… Act like this” the reality instead is another a very sad one.
You are not waiting for a change, but you stop to be that person who you always dreamed of, that person that cuddles in the middle of the road just for the sake of a cuddle, like when your son stops and says “mummy a cuddle please” just a cuddle, holding your hands, having a non planned lunch or coffee out, it’s seems all so distant so far away.
When this happened and why this happened? Should you talk about this, should you keep for yourself. You wondering does he feels the same, why he never talks to me, why he never says something nice to me or helping me out instead of talking to me like I am the slave in our own house.
How many relationships go through ups and downs, and why some of them end in violence which make your own kids beign witness of something they should never see, feel, hear. How many couples after having kids, but even without them get tired of eachother and why they don’t break up? Why sometimes women, although fiercy become a sort of submissive ones?
It is definitely not because they are scared of being alone, I think personally sometimes it’s better be alone, struggle a bit and then reborn, rather than keep living in just an unhappy relationship. At the same time women feel they need to try everything and carry on because that little dream of a fairy tale will be always in their head.
I always thought of myself as a warrior and I think I am, I m glad in my life I never had to become a victim or make my son be the witness of something so bad. I wish to this girl who is writing because she needs to talk about how lovely was her mum anyway, how even if they were poor she was always caring for her but she made bad choices and life wasn’t easy towards her, dying at 34 because someone who said loved you passed you a deadly desease as aids is.
We are lucky to be in the right side of the path, hoping that nothing will ever happen to us like this.